This tool can help you to know you’re providing enough support…but not so much that your child will never learn to be self-sufficient. This episode covers the concept of “scaffolding,” which is a method parents can use to observe and support their children’s development by providing just enough assistance to keep the child in their “Zone of Proximal Development.” A friend of mine summed it up most concisely and articulately by asking “how do I know when to lead and when I should step back and let my daughter lead?” All of the author’s proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to the Child Mind Institute.When I started talking with people about the idea for this podcast, one theme that came up consistently was the idea of supporting our children’s growth and development. Koplewicz’s decades of clinical and personal experience, The Scaffold Effect is a compassionate, street-smart, and essential guide for the ages. If your child’s building and your scaffold are on the same level, you can speak directly, look each other in the eye, and keep the lines of communication open. The person on the roof will have to “talk down” to you or yell. – Stay on their level: Imagine being on the ground floor of a house and trying to talk to someone on the roof. Any effort to block or control growth will actually stunt it. – Empower growth: Skyscraper or sprawling ranch–the style of your child’s construction is not up to you! Scaffold parenting validates and accommodates the shape the child is growing into.
From this supportive base, your will forge a bond that will survive adolescence and grow stronger into adulthood.
Explaining the building blocks of an effective scaffold from infancy through young adulthood, he expertly guides parents through the strategies for raising empowered, capable people, including: – Lay a solid foundation: The parent-child relationship needs to be made from the concrete mixture of emotional availability, positive reinforcement, clear messaging, and consistent rules. In The Scaffold Effect, world-renowned child psychiatrist Harold Koplewicz introduces the powerful and clinically tested idea that this deliberate build-up and then gradual loosening of parental support is the single most effective way to encourage kids to climb higher, try new things, grow from mistakes, and develop character and strength. Never-ending parental problem-solving and involvement can have the opposite effect, enabling fragility and anxiety over time. Siegel, MD, author of The Whole Brain Child Just as sturdy scaffolding is necessary when erecting a building and will come down when the structure grows stable, good parenting provides children with steady and warm emotional nourishment on the path toward independence. “A master synthesizer of attachment science, medical practice, and his own experience as a father, Harold Koplewicz capably and compassionately leads us through the art of scaffolding, from early childhood through the important adolescent period.”–Daniel J. Prevent and counteract the general anxiety and emotional fragility prevalent in children and teenagers today–a new parenting philosophy and strategies that give children the tools to flourish on their own (previously published as The Scaffold Effect). Scaffold Parenting: Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety
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